if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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