he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
