She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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