I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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