The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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