where does the pee come out of this thing
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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