I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize