So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
