I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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