how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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