It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
