Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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