I'm drive I can fine osifer
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
