As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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