Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
