oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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