we have officially lost it.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
