Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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