Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
