I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
