My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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