thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just cropdusted the office
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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