everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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