Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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