I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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