Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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