So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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