So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
