You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
literally had 100 drinks last night.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
