So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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