i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
