I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize