Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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