Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
