I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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