I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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