Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
