youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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