Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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