I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
