i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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