you traded sex for a burrito?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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