it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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