I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
