The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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