It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
