four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Don't tell me you're on acid again
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize