We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
