somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Liz is crying about burritos again.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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