Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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