Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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