I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
