I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
