i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
