i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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