my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
