so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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