just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
